Worth a thousand words
by BlackEyedGirl
Summary: They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Some people can write words that are worth more. MidS3 Samfic.


Category: Drama

Summary: They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Some people can write words that are worth more. Mid-S3 Samfic

Spoilers: Begins not long after 100KA. Minor references possibly to S4 flashback episodes.

Disclaimer: The West Wing is not mine but remains the exclusive property of Aaron Sorkin et al.

A/N: This was created way back in September 2002 when I was still holding out hope that Rob would stay, but beginning to lose it. I started writing this to cheer myself up, and added things randomly to it until he actually did go. Then, a little while back, I decided I would finish it, post it, and otherwise allow other Sam fans to read it. It is, effectively, a series of loosely connected ficlets and post-eps from pre-S1 up to 100KA. Enjoy, review, and if you have a favourite bit that's missing, tell me and I'll put it in the version that will go up on my site. If I ever get the site running. 

Bits in _italics_ are album pieces. They also have *stars* because ff.net doesn't always show all my italics!

*********

* 'The truth is rarely pure and never simple.' – Oscar Wilde. *

'Sam, I'm just saying…' exclaimed Josh.

'You're saying _what_ exactly, Josh?' asked Sam, in a scathing tone that seemed alien on his tongue. In the Oval Office the Senior Staff and President were watching, amazed, as Josh and Sam tore into each other.

'Lately…you're quiet, moody… secretive even. Some of us were beginning to question your commitment.'

'My commitment to what?'

'Everything, Sam, the President, the campaign, all of us.' The younger man tensed then walked out of the room. 

'Wait there,' he threw over his shoulder.

A few minutes had gone by before anyone spoke.

'Josh?' asked the President calmly. 'When I said maybe we should have an informal chat about Sam tonight I did not give you leave to turn it into a shouting match.'

'Sir, we all agreed we needed to see where he stood. We're concerned about him.'

'Yeah, I must have missed that under the screaming and name-calling.'

Sam walked back in with a book under his arm. Josh tried again.

'Sam buddy, all I meant was, we want to know what's wrong.'

'You know what's wrong,' he answered incredulously.

'Listen. These past months have hit all of us pretty badly. I know that. But you have no reason to be any worse than the rest of us. Less in fact.'

'Excuse me? Okay, Josh, you know what? I'm sorry that I'm not dedicated enough to this job for you. I'm sorry that I didn't get shot. I'm sorry that I didn't perjure myself to the press every day. I'm sorry that I didn't have a wife to lose or an illness to conceal. But most of all I'm sorry that I would take any of those so you people didn't have to. I would give up everything for the people in this room Josh so don't you ever _dare_ question my commitment.' 

At that he threw the hard backed book on the sofa and walked out of the room, leaving a startled and confused senior staff behind him.

'Well that was different,' Toby offered.

'Ah the eloquent understatement of our speechwriter,' CJ deadpanned. 

'What exactly is this?' Leo asked. Shrugs and shaking of heads answered this, the rest obviously as bemused as him.

'I've never actually seen it,' Josh said, 'I know he keeps an album but …'

'I suppose we should look at these secret documents then,' Bartlet said resignedly into the silence.

* Paper-clipped onto the first page was a note: 'This is an album of photos, speeches etc I've kept since the start of the campaign. Have a glance through and if you still feel the same way I'll tender my resignation tomorrow morning – Samuel Norman Seaborn.' *

'Is he serious?' CJ asked. Josh looked up at her.

'Well he signed his full name. So I'd guess so.' He unclipped the note to see the page below.

_* The first picture was easily recognisable; both men had it in their office. Josh and Sam with their arms round each other's shoulders, grinning at the camera. It was marked 'New York, 1997, just after Josh rescued me.' *_

Josh smiled at that, and turned the page.

* These two were new to everybody. There was one of the President and Leo in the campaign headquarters labelled 'Governor Bartlet and right hand man Leo McGarry. The other was C.J and Toby in the same place marked 'C.J Cregg (Press Secretary) and Toby Ziegler (Communications Director and my boss).* 

'When did he take that?' asked Toby.

'You don't remember?' It was C.J that replied. 'It was a few months into the campaign. You yelled at him for being 'snap happy?'

'We were in the middle of a tough campaign, I yelled at him for everything. How do you expect me to remember something specific?'

'Just trust me okay? He took loads, said he needed to remember everything.'

'Fine, fine, turn the page.'

* This one was of a broken window, which no one understood until they read the inscription: 'CJ has a good arm.' *

C.J suddenly dissolved into fits of giggling. 

'You remember?'

'How could I forget?' Toby replied, smiling wryly.

'This is when you broke the window with the basketball?' Josh was curious.

'Yeah, guess Sam was determined to remember it.'

'Think he could have managed that without a picture,' Toby interjected.

_* This photo was predictable: The Inaugural Ball. All the staff was smiling at the camera, and under the photo was simply written, in Sam's flowing script, 'We did it'.  The opposite page had a sheaf of printouts in a tiny font stapled to it. Everybody but Toby looked bemused until they read the comment: 'Inaugural Address 1999. The first speech me and Toby really co-wrote.' *_

'Huh?' inquired Josh.

'He's right…in his own strange way. It was the first that wasn't mine, or an amended version of his. We worked on it together.' Toby was suddenly silent, searching his memory for a more recent example. As the page was turned he smiled in surprise.

* The first side was an article about the inauguration. The second was a photo. It showed Toby in front of his laptop, turned away from the keyboard to smile at his deputy who was grinning in enthusiasm, obviously just finished dictating something. 'The writing of the inaugural address. Ginger took this; she said Toby smiling was too rare not to be captured. I had just written the piece on education, and Toby complimented me for the first time. Not just 'fine', I merited, 'That's good.' Nearly fell over! And I do that enough without Toby adding to it.' *

Josh looked at Toby incredulously. 

'It took until the Inaugural Address for you say something good about him? God! How is he still working for you?' Toby had the grace to look embarrassed.

'In my own defence, I was busy.' That was enough to cause the others in the room to add their glares to Josh's.

'Just turn the damn page okay?'

* Sam looking like a child on Christmas morning in his office, surrounded by boxes. 'The first day. Ginger again, apparently I didn't stop staring for weeks.' Under this was a blurry photo of Toby's office: 'This was taken through the glass. I've been told that the camera and I may not be in Toby's office at the same time.' Facing these photos were ones of CJ in her office, and Donna and Josh in his. At the bottom of the page it said: 'I'm not sure I can take a camera into the Oval. The Secret Service guys don't trust me very much, I think they're watching me.' *

'Was he really that paranoid?' asked the President, laughing.

'Oh yeah,' Josh answered, 'Totally, he thought they were after him.'

Bartlet laughed again and turned the page.

_* For the next few pages it was just newspaper articles on the administration. Then there was one of the 1st State of the Union and a picture of the Communication Staff in a meeting to plan it. A few more pages of memos and articles, and then a seemingly random picture of Josh. He was standing at the Washington monument with sunglasses and a serious look. 'Josh doing his Men-in-Black thing. It really is no wonder people think politics is all about secret handshakes!' *_

'You do look a little sinister,' CJ said, contemplatively. 

'I was doing a deal.'

'You remember the day?'

'That one. We were five votes down on the gun bill. It was after the speech where Mandy teamed "Kids are dead" with "Happy days are here again" and Sam objected. We had to get Hoynes in the end. But I bullied some people for the first four.  Sam and me had coffee after, he said I looked like an agent, and he took some photos.'

'I can't believe you remember all that.'

'I didn't. Not until I saw the photo.' He turned the page, which caused a sharp intake of breath from the President.__

* A cutting about the Cruz execution and facing it a summary of Sam's arguments for commuting. Underneath it read: 'Leo wouldn't let me in, suppose he may have had a point, I was a bit irate. Combination of the knowledge that I was right and he knew it, lack of sleep, and Bobby reappearing. He basically ordered me to tell the President to commute. Kind of threw me. So much so that I told him where Toby's temple was… he got slightly annoyed about that… Couldn't exactly tell him the real reason though.  Just picture it: "Toby, I'm sorry I released private information but Bobby Zane beat me up every other day in high school and his sudden reappearance made me forget I wasn't sixteen anymore." Yeah, that one would go down well!' *

'Did he even tell anybody about that before he got involved?' Leo wondered out loud.

'No...' CJ answered unsteadily, 'We talked a bit about capital punishment but he didn't say how he knew the guy's lawyer.'

'His excuse, by the way, was that it "just felt like the right thing to do".'  Toby smiled humourlessly.

'We'll have words about this when he comes back,' the President added grimly. He then turned the page and let out a bark of laughter.

* An article entitled: President's 'secret plan to fight inflation'. *

It was Josh's turn to look embarrassed.

_* 'CJ has sworn to never let Josh in her pressroom again. Serves him right for underestimating the difficulties of working in communications!' *_

CJ smiled tauntingly at Josh. 

'See? Even your best friend thinks you were an idiot.' Josh decided to distract her.

'What's on the other page anyway?'

'Nice try mi amor but...' Her voice trailed off as she turned to look.

* It was a printout of a roadmap, with a route clearly marked. Underneath it said cryptically: ' Celestial navigation has its flaws.' *

The President worked it out first. 

'Mendoza.'

'All due respect sir, but what the hell?' This was Leo. It was Toby who answered.

'When we got lost trying to get Mendoza released. He tried to steer by Polaris and followed the shuttle instead?' Leo chuckled at this.

'Of course. I'd almost forgotten, seems decades ago now.'

The others smiled a little sadly at this.

Toby flicked through more pages of articles and stopped at one with a smile. 

* It was an article about Sam and Laurie, but it was the comment that prompted the grin. 'I have the worst luck, I sleep with the woman, and no one notices. I give her a friendly hug and suddenly it's all over the papers!' *

'Would he prefer they caught him leaving her apartment at 3am?' CJ asked.

'Would have been more satisfying for him...'

'Josh!'

'Sorry.'

* The next was a memo on healthcare he had written. The other side prompted nostalgic smiles around the room. It was a photo of a meeting early in the 2nd year. The entire senior staff was present. There was a debate between the President, and Sam and Toby. Both sides were arguing passionately, but without animosity. Josh, Leo and CJ were smiling in tolerant amusement at the three. Underneath in pen it said: 'Healthcare meeting'. In pencil, and in a hurried scrawl a further inscription had been added: 'Feels like forever since we did this. I guess I took it for granted that it would always happen. So caught up in the rush I convinced myself that there'd always be discussion and we would never go behind each other's backs.' *

There were confused looks all around the room. 

'That was added recently right?' CJ clarified.

'I guess so,' Josh answered hesitantly, 'sometime after the picture anyway, kinda hard to say when exactly.'

'When did he get so...' President Bartlet paused. The shaking of heads around the room told him that nobody had any more idea than him.

* There were a couple more random articles and photos, and then a speech to a town meeting in Rosslyn. There was just one article, by Danny Concannon, followed by a newspaper photo of the scene, blurry enough to just show figures and ambulance lights indistinctly. The paragraph below was unsteady, as if the writer's hand shook: 'I have never been so terrified in all my life than the moment I heard Toby yell. I just had time to think, 'I've never heard him scared' before I realised why he had screamed. I did the morning shows for CJ, tried to convince Toby it wasn't his fault and the whole time all I could think about was how Josh was going to die. I wrote an obituary in my head... I'm supposed to be the naive, optimistic one and I couldn't convince myself that he'd be okay? He's not meant to be the one with a bullet through his chest; I should have been there, it should have been me.  The President's okay, he wasn't as bad as Josh, and by the time I heard about it everyone was optimistic. They're telling me Josh will be fine too but every time I close my eyes all I can see is blood.' *

'We shouldn't be reading this.' Josh's voice wavered.

'He wanted us to see it Josh. We should finish.' Leo's voice lacked conviction but he turned the page.

* The next was an article about Capital Beat. 'Now that I'm no longer burning with humiliation I can put this in. She's actually interesting to debate with, if you ignore her being entirely wrong on almost everything. She's a good person, and she was attacked by us, and even her own party for this. She stuck up for us to her Republican friends. Explained to me, very bemusedly, after our karaoke that they called us worthless and she defended us. She said we had commitment, were righteous and patriots. Who'd have thought it?!' Opposite was a picture of Ainsley in her office with the senior staff: 'It was HMS Pinafore.' *

This relieved some of the tension in the room.

'He has such a thing for her,' Josh commented.

'Just because a man says a woman is moral and intelligent he automatically has a thing for her?' CJ asked indignantly.

'CJ...I'

'Kidding, Joshua, kidding,' laughed CJ, turning to Toby. But he was staring with a strange expression at the next page.

* The picture was of some of the staff asleep on Air Force One. CJ and Charlie were sitting opposite Toby and Sam. The younger speechwriter was leaning his head lightly on Toby's shoulder with a contented smile on his face and in his hands the first draft of a speech now stapled opposite the photo. Underneath it said: 'The President took this believe it or not, I think it amused him. Won't show it to Toby, it might cause him to sigh loudly and then spend the next month trying to convince me that he's entirely indifferent to my existence. And I wouldn't want to bother him after how good he was that night, He went to get Danny's copy of the speech for me.... he didn't yell about me freezing on the draft either...maybe he's mellowing. Or waiting to pounce...this could be a devious plot…' *

'Is he paranoid or am I…?' Toby asked quietly.

'No,' CJ answered quickly. 'He's just paranoid, you know that.'

'Yeah….' But Toby turned the page thoughtfully. Josh and Toby promptly developed simultaneous grins. CJ looked down to see what had amused them and looked up to glare.

* Two turkeys 'roaming free' in CJs office. Underneath Sam had somehow managed to convey his mirth simply by writing 'Slacking off indeed.' Opposite was a printout of statistics on Richard Andrewchuk: 'They'd have to be having lots of sex, because he really is an appalling hockey player.' *

'Do I want to know?' asked the President.

'That Leo's baby daughter was having lots of sex with a hockey player?' Josh asked, with a smirk at Leo. 'Nope, that's probably an image he could do without.' Leo glowered at Josh, flicking the page over.

This set seemed to confuse everyone. Josh paled in understanding. 

'This was at Christmas.'

* A programme headlining with Yo-Yo Ma. A press statement about a suicidal pilot. Statistics about Post Traumatic stress disorder. Underneath: 'We should have known.' *

'He felt guilty about it? It was his fault I stuck my hand through a window?' Everyone else was silent. Eventually Toby spoke.

'He was upset that Donna figured it out before him. He's supposed to be your best friend.'

'He is my best friend.'

'I know that. He wasn't so sure. He thought a best friend should have recognised it.'

'He said that?'

'He didn't have to. I found him slumped over his desk asleep, surrounded by ATVA printouts.'

'He shouldn't…'

'I know, but you should tell him that.'

'Yeah…' Josh murmured this, reluctantly turning the page.  It was Toby's turn to freeze, the colour draining from his face as his eyes scanned the page.

* There was a speech and opposite a newspaper article. The article had a sentence underlined: 'President Bartlet left to muted applause'. Under it in harsh pen strokes: 'Friends are honest with each other.'-Toby Ziegler *

CJ looked towards Toby in concern and murmured reassuringly,

'Toby…' But already he had taken a pace backwards, his hand at his mouth.

'He's over it, Toby,' Josh added.

'We don't know that.' Toby answered. 'I thought he had calmed down that night but he was obviously still wound up. He resented it then and for all we know he still does.'

'He's fine,' Bartlet interjected, 'He doesn't hold grudges.'

'I think after tonight, sir, none of us can say with any certainty what's going on in his head.'

'No,' he admitted reluctantly, 'but he respects you, even after it. He's fine.'

'Yeah,' Toby muttered, but without conviction. He slowly turned the page.

A reluctant smile came over his face, slowly followed by the rest of the room.

* Sam, curled up asleep on Toby's sofa, looking for all the world like a child who'd begged to stay up late and then collapsed. 'Bonnie this time. This was the night before Josh and Toby decided to get me drunk enough to go home. It worked luckily; otherwise I might be living here. This…was not a good week. There was the affair thing, then the Daniel Gault thing, plus the FBI guy threatening Toby. I would have throttled the guy right there if it hadn't been for all the guns. If he'd kept up I probably would have anyway. * 

'Who threatened Toby?' Bartlet asked. 

'To be perfectly honest sir I'm not entirely sure,' Toby answered.

'Umm…' added Josh reluctantly, 'I know what it was. Sort of anyway. Something about public failures of the FBI and canopies.' Bartlet looked at Toby inquiringly.

'Rosslyn.' He filled in. 'It was my call, not the FBI's, and it got you and Josh shot. I guess they're feeling a little bitter at taking all the blame. And Sam, seemingly, felt he had to defend me.'

'Toby, for the last time…'CJ took a warning tone. 'It wasn't your fault. And of course Sam would defend you. It's what he does. To any and all comers.'

'This was actually a thing?' asked Josh. 'There was a guilt/blame situation?'

'Toby, it could have happened anyway, you need to let this go,' said the President, turning the page.

This was the page Jed Bartlet had been dreading. 

* Random statistics about MS and its forms, survival rates…on the opposite page in a surprisingly steady hand: 'Well, this book has officially moved into state-secrets territory. It's not quite Toby's 17 people but at the moment the fact that Josiah Bartlet has relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis is still mostly a secret. That was easier to write than I thought. The President is sick. He has a disease which none of us or any of his eminently qualified doctors can cure. The strange thing is that I, unlike Toby, am not mad at him. I'm petrified for him. I mean yes I'm mad too. This was a betrayal no matter what way he spins it. It wasn't simple omission; he kept it secret because he wanted to be President.  But we could have done it. I know that in '97 we were strong enough to have made the best man President no matter what. This year I'm not so sure. This year was supposed to be the great campaign. It was all going well and we'd go into the poli-sci books for winning by running an ethical, issue-based campaign. But instead we're grabbing for votes everywhere, and this is going to be a brutal, vicious election. Both to get the candidacy and to win it. We've made it about honesty instead.  And I am honestly terrified. This election is going to ruin us. And that disease ruins minds, I've seen it happen and I'm as scared of it as I am the effect of the election. But if I could take this for him I would, terrified or not.  Josiah Bartlet is destined to do great things when we win this second term. And to keep him here to do it I would risk everything. * 

'Who did he know?' Leo asked in a vain attempt to distract Jed from the last lines and the guilt they were causing. He turned to Josh.

'His grandfather I think. The one that taught him to sail. I didn't actually know what was wrong, I just remember Sam having to rush back home one week. It got worse very quickly and he was dead and buried by the Sunday.'

'Did he ever mention this?' CJ asked, searching her mind for any casual comment she should have taken more seriously.

'Not that I know of,' answered Josh, 'but he just doesn't talk about that sort of thing.'

Now the President spoke, shaking himself out of his stupor.

'He doesn't talk about a lot of things.'

'Mr President…' Jed shook off the steadying arm.

'I would have sworn Leo, I would have sworn on my daughters' lives that he was more pissed at me than anyone else bar Toby. What have I ever done that inspires such goddamn blind loyalty in him? He had a right to be mad at me. He had a right to be indignant and virtuously irate. And instead, if you credit it, he offers himself up as a martyr. What have I done Leo?'

'You let him work in the White House….'

'I didn't remember his name until Illinois'

'You were the real thing.'

'I was what Josh?'

'The real thing? The Holy Grail of politics?  Sam's nirvana after seven years in corporate law? You know the story right?' He looked at the shaking heads.

'Okay, long story short. Leo forces me to come down and listen to this New Hampshire intellectual friend of his. On the way there I drop by and see my old buddy Sam and ask him if I find the real thing should I come tell him? He, in his odd way, illustrates his disbelief but agrees. I find out that Leo was right, stand outside Sam's window drenched, he looks up, looks back down at his one month from partner job and just walks out of the meeting. We go to his apartment, inform his fiancée of this and she has hysterics. Leave anyway with one suitcase apiece and four years later here we are.'

The rest of the room looked at Josh blankly.

'You really never heard the story? Sam's much better at telling it. Writer and all.'

'He left a job in which he was about to be promoted, and a fiancée who he knew didn't want to be a politician's wife because you stood outside his office?'

'Mr President you really have to be inside our heads here. I met Sam when he was still an intern and I wasn't much beyond it. We still believed that the right thing could get done. We got pretty close and when he left we stayed in touch. He knew we were both looking for the same thing. We had been searching for it for years. And, according to him, I have a bad poker face. That was it.'

'You two are crazy …' Josh interrupted him.

'Why do you think any of us are here sir? You represent something a lot of us thought wasn't there anymore. We came here to show people that a good man could get elected. All of us knew that for a long time you didn't believe it. But we did and we knew that you could change this country for the better. And we all decided that, one way or another, we were going to get you elected. For Sam that meant leaving New York and a fiancée. That was just how it had to be.'

Jed saw the nodding in the room

'I amend my statement, you're all crazy'

'Sir…'

'Leo? You're going to try and tell me that makes sense?'

'I think you underestimate your ability to inspire "blind loyalty" sir.'

'It's not blind loyalty,' Toby muttered.

'What?'

'I said, its not blind loyalty. We walked in here eyes wide open. And up until the thing you were exactly what we saw. Sam could write something like that because he knows you, and that carried him through it. You were still the man that inspired him enough to choose you over her. And that was enough. It was enough for all of us.'

Jed looked at him intently before speaking.

'I'm going to finish this, and then we're going to have a talk. Even if I have to use an executive order to get him to stay here.' He turned the page.

* The President launching his re-election campaign in New Hampshire, with the Senior Staff and Abby in the background. 'He apologised, to us at least. Leo's right, he can't tell the country he shouldn't have done it.  We'd never get back in that way. And what else matters?' * 

'I knew he wasn't over that,' Leo sighed.

'Over what?' Jed looked over at Leo.

'Sam wanted you to make a public apology in one of your statements. He was arguing it in every discussion. At one point, so ardently that we ended up yelling each other out in the middle of a meeting.'

'He was right.'

'No, he wasn't. The censure was plenty. You have a private life, there's nothing wrong with that.'

'Except for those times when it leaves my unelected Chief of Staff in charge of the country. Isn't that right, Toby?' He glared.

'I wasn't saying you should issue a public apology. I just said you should have told your staff first.'

'I know. We seem to be ignoring the main concern here.'

'What's that, sir?'

'To quote: "what else matters?" That's our concern.'

'Lets just finish,' CJ said, 'Then we can deal with everything at once.'

'Good plan,' Josh replied, turning the page.

* The missing section of the State of the Union:
    
    _"Over the past half-century, we've split the atom, we've spliced the gene, and we've roamed Tranquility Base. We've _
    
    _reached for the stars, and never have we been closer to having them in our grasp. New science, new technology is_
    
    _ making the difference between life and death, and so we need a national commitment equal to this unparalleled _
    
    _moment of possibility. And so, I announce to you tonight, that I will bring the full resources of the federal government_
    
    _ and the full reach of my office to this fundamental goal: we will cure cancer by the end of this decade." – This is the_
    
    _ best thing I've written in months and it wasn't used. What's more, I wrote it knowing it wouldn't be used, even if I _
    
    _was arguing for optimistic government. Lisa said it was nice. She also told me that I had been doing something, _
    
    _without any proof and ignoring all signs to the contrary. Time for a list._

Reasons I should quit:

1.   He lied. I know it's selfish but I can't quite get over him looking at us all throughout the campaign and for all the while we've been here and saying nothing.

2. If Toby got a thesaurus and a dog to chase after his rubber balls he wouldn't notice I'm gone.

3. I had more actual conversations with Josh when he worked in a different city.

4.   I can't watch this happen to CJ. I've defended her to Leo and he didn't care. I've convinced Josh that the Butch Cassidy comment didn't mean what he thought it meant. He thinks the 'you' matters, thinks she's jumping ship. It does matter, but it's not in the way he has it. Its not the fall that's going to kill us, its that we're dropping alone. And I can't convince her that it's any different.

5. One day I'm going to wake up and not remember how to write words that don't belong to him.

6.   I didn't leave law to deal with seatbelts and pennies.

Reasons why I can't leave:

1. Because Josh stood outside my office dripping wet when I loved him enough to run after him, and nothing's changed.

2. Toby knew first and told me I was a good deputy before it would seem like a way to stop me.

3.        Because CJ called me her sunshine man and said that it didn't matter that the speech was all flash.

4.        Leo's doing for the President what I would be doing for Toby or what Josh would be doing for him.  And I can't blame him for ending up in the situation.

5.        Ginger and Bonnie and Donna and Margaret and Carol and all those other women who come here for low pay and abuse and still find the time to stand by us all.

6.        The White House still gives me chills.

7. Because we all owe Leo our jobs a thousand times over, including the President. But the President saved his life, Toby saved Josh's and I saved CJ's. And Josh saved mine by getting me here. And the President saved all of us by letting us get a good man elected. And then lied to us. So somewhere within that web of debt is something as close to a family as any of us have. And families stay together. 

8. He's the real thing. * 

'Anybody?' Bartlet asked into the silence. 

'Sorry, sir?'

'Anybody have an explanation, justification or other way to avoid dealing with the fact that Sam is writing lists of reasons to quit?'

'He had more on the other list.'

'Josh, while I am both aware of that, and pleased, I don't think that resolves the problem.

'Look at this.' Toby gestured with the book. They had come to the end of the entries, but he had turned to the back pages.

* 

Josh and Donna deep in conversation – 'I'm not entirely sure if they're blind or if it's just self-preservation. If it's blindness then someone is going to have to investigate that "the best and the brightest" claim again: "I wish to share in all your fortune, and participate in your troubles as I have done in your happiness, provided that it be with honour and in your defence." (Queen Henrietta-Maria of England)'

_CJ at the podium, talking about Qumar– 'CJ Cregg: The embodiment of grace under fire.'_

_Toby at his desk – 'My favourite writer at work: "If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)'_

_Josh, lying back in a hospital bed, peering over the top of his men-in-black sunglasses, grinning at Sam – 'Josh revelling in his sunglasses in a brightly lit hospital room: "__Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though chequered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." (Theodore Roosevelt)'_

_Leo arguing with a lobbyist on the campaign trail – 'Leo trying to change minds on gun control: "__One man with courage makes a majority." (President Andrew Jackson – who else?)'_

_President Bartlet in the pressroom with his hands in his pockets and a slight smile on his face - 'President Josiah Bartlet announcing his intent to run for re-election: "Give me a place to stand and I shall move the earth" (Archimedes)'_

_The Senior Staff gathered together, with the President and Leo in the middle – 'We are dreamers all: "__Some men see that things that are and ask "Why?"   
We dream of things that never were and ask "Why not?"" (paraphrased George Bernard Shaw)' * _

'Charlie?' the President called.

'Sir?' Charlie asked, entering the Oval Office.

'Can you find Sam and bring him here please?'

'Shouldn't be too difficult, sir.'

'He's outside?'

'He is.'

'For how long?'

'About two minutes after he left.'

'Send him in please.'

'Yes sir.'

Sam entered the room a few moments later. He walked quickly across the floor and stood in front of the President, who rose from his seat.

'I'd like to apologise, sir, if I may. I overreacted, and I've just realised what sort of things there are in there.'

'And what exactly are you concerned about, Sam?' He looked up at the President and met his eyes. Jed blinked at the almost fearful look, a child's expectancy of punishment. 'God, Sam, what did we do?' He put a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

'Sir?'

'When did I become this person that you're scared of? When did you start thinking the people here don't care?'

'About what?'

'You, Sam. When did you decide they didn't care about what you thought? When did you start writing it here,' he gestured with the book, 'instead of telling us?' Sam took a deep, shaky breath.

'When you sent Leo to tell me that you had MS later than you told everybody else, including Joey Lucas. When you pretended that it was because of a speech which nobody remembered, because you followed it with an announcement that you had lied to the people of America in order to get elected.'

'And yet you still want me to be re-elected? You in fact claimed that you would "risk everything" to see it happen.'

'Yes sir.'

'Why?'

'Because I would walk through fire if you asked me, sir.'

'Same question.'

'Because you're the real thing.'

'What do you mean when you say that, Sam? Josh explained but I want to know what you think.' Sam smiled lightly at Josh.

'You told the story? Josh and I see it the same way I think. You're the reason people like us exist. Because of you, we get to play this the way it's meant to be played. You're the answer to the question.'

'Which question?'

'Why do you keep trying?'

'Sam,' Jed stopped and tried again. 'Listen to me. One day you're going to be the answer. It's your campaign they're going to write about in the books. Even with this as your Chief of Staff.' He nodded towards Josh.

'Hey!'

'You want to argue with me Josh?'

'No sir.'

'Good. But until that day, Sam, you are a valued member of this team. Don't ever forget that.' He met Sam's eyes and held the contact until he was certain his meaning had been understood.

'Thank you sir.'

'You're welcome. One moment please. Charlie!'

'Yes, sir?'

'Can you get some coffee in here. Sam has some questions to answer.'

'Sir?'

'You're not getting away that easily. We're starting with Bobby Zane. I believe Josh has some things to say. And Toby no doubt wants to rant about something.' Unusually, Toby stayed silent. Sam grinned at the President and lay back in his seat to answer the questions. He felt Toby stiffen against his shoulder.

'What?'

'Your favourite writer?'

'Of course.'

'Not Dickens?'

'Dickens is a close second.' He felt Toby's quiet laughter and made himself more comfortable against his friend. CJ curled her legs under herself and leant against Toby's other side. Josh was still muttering indecipherable protests towards the President but stopped when he noticed Sam's laughter. Leo sighed, all suffering, but Jed noticed the quirk at the corner of his mouth.

'Now, Sam, explain to me about Richard Andrewchuk…' 

***********

A/N 2: Done. Feel cleansed, purged of my post-eps and monologues. Even if I'm not sure how final the ending section feels. I didn't really give much thought to how to finish it until I actually got there, most unlike me. On a side-note, if anybody liked this and is good at Photoshop, or drawing, I'd love some pictures to go with it. And I have no artistic ability whatsoever! Review please. 


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